Tuesday, August 20, 2013

School was good!

I only have time for a quick update as I'm exhausted and overloaded right now, so proper sleep is essential. But I just wanted to let you all know I had an awesome time at school today :) I'm having some social issues but I'll write about that later, for now I just want to sleep more than anything. But I wasn't alone at school as I thought, I know I have one awesome friend that will stick by me who I hung out with all day :) the rest of my 'friends' i'm on uncertain terms with, but at least I have her! I love my classes so far, we'll see how I like my second set of classes tomorrow, goodnight x

Monday, August 19, 2013

School tomorrow ~.~

As the title says.. I start school tomorrow :( I'm actually looking forward to having stuff to do, though I'm a bit worried about the stress level, I'm taking on a lot this semester. The only other thing I'm worried about is social issues, they tend not to be my forte.. I'm having a few problems with my friends lately (the few I have) and I'm pretty much going into school with about 2 friends. It would be different if it was going to a new school/university, but I've been in the same classes with these people for my whole life so it's not like there's a whole crop of new people to make friends with, they already have preconceived ideas of me and I of them. At least I have lunch plans arranged with a friend, I won't be lonely, that's the absolute worst time to be alone at school. (in the movies when the outsider sits in the bathroom to eat lunch because they have no friends and don't want to look pathetic? I've done that. Except not in a bathroom, that's disgusting.) I'm hoping anyways that I'll meet new people that I like/who like me and aren't jerks/smokers/drinkers/bad influences/annoying/distracting. Wish me luck! (if only I could have a class with all of you, the bloggers I've met are so nice!).

In other news, I've gotten your comments and I'll respond to them as soon as I can tomorrow, today was just too hectic with preparation- mostly mental!

The market
As for my day, I spent the morning doing work (still haven't finished up summer work, but the class I need it done for isn't till tuesday, woohoo!). Then my mum and I went to the office store so I could pick up a couple new notebooks and packs of paper since I've totally run out of notebook space, and then we went to a bookstore in a neighboring town to pick up one more book I need for Tuesday. And there happened to be a farmer's market happening downtown where the bookstore is, so we picked up lunch there, it was such a nice afternoon- farmer's markets/street markets are the best!!
Some really nice beans there.

^^I convinced my mum to let me get raspberries, $5 for two baskets which is an AMAZING deal, and they only had three baskets left when I got there so they threw in the third one for free!!!!! How incredible is that? I've spent my whole afternoon snacking on raspberries!^^

After that I came home and did MORE work, and then got Pho for dinner with my mum. I ordered the small bowl (which, let me tell you, is DEFINITELY not small in any way), but they accidentally gave me a large, which would me more accurately named gargantuan. I thought there was no way I could finish but I actually ate the entire thing, LOL, I guess I was quite hungry. It's always been a life goal of mine to finish a large size bowl of Pho, so there goes a checkmark on the bucket list :) now that I think about it, why is it called a bucket list? anyone know? it sure is a strange phrase.

See spoon, chopsticks, and 8oz water glass next to bowl for size -.-

How the heck did I do that?
look how the bowl dwarfs the spoon, dude!!

Then we did some quick grocery shopping and came back home, I tried doing more work but then got distracted in getting in a HUGE argument with one of my close friends, second huge argument we've had within a couple weeks :( I won't get into it now, but maybe I'll post more about it later.

I should really be getting to sleep by now, I need to get up around 6:30 tomorrow, ick, and seeing as it's already 12:30 now.. hmm, maybe 6:30 won't quite happen. We'll see. Wish me luck for school!!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Current Music

Here's what I've been listening to lately:


Pompeii by Bastille, obsessed.

And I cannot get enough of One Republic's new album, here are my favorites:


Counting Stars


If I Lose Myself


Feel Again


I Lived

And how awesome is the Native cover art? It's just perfect overall. 

I'm also LOVING Sara Bareills's new album, here are my favourite of her new songs: 


Brave


I Choose You (love love love!)

So there's an overview of my current music obsessions :) haven't even included Imagine Dragons, Marina and the Diamonds, Eskimo Joe (love their newly released song on their fb page!!). 

Question time!

I thought I would do a 'question time' since I haven't been posting in so long! Feel free to ask me anything at all, whatever you want to know about me! Can be ED/recovery related or any other topic you're wondering about :) I'll answer all the questions (if I get any ;s) in a post.

I'm also wondering- who's reading my blog? I definitely don't have as many readers as when I was posting regularly, but I have a fair amount all over the world. So leave me a comment, let me know who you are and if you have a blog as well, I'd love to make friends with you!! 

Recovery

A few days back, one of my friends asked me: "How long did it take you to beat anorexia and how did you do it?"

At first I was baffled. How do I even go about answering that? Then when I started writing, I had so much to say I practically had to restrain myself from writing a novel. I thought I would post my response to her for you all to read as well:

It took well over a year with many months straight of daily therapy for basically the whole day, being supervised at every meal 6 meals a day every day for most of that year. It took going to the doctor at least once a week for many months, and making sure I ate enough between doctor visits to avoid being admitted to the hospital or having a heart attack or being sent to a residential facility in Nevada or Utah. And that's pretty much just the physical stuff; mentally, it took everything I had and then some. Therapy upon therapy upon therapy. And then the mental stuff outside of therapy- dealing with panic attacks every day, then slowly decreasing to a few a week, every few weeks, then they became a rarity. Completely turning upside down and inside out everything I believed about the world and about myself. It was hard, so so hard, and for months straight I just wanted to give up at every moment. And I fought it at that time too, pushing everyone away, refusing to comply with everybody, hiding behind tv's and couches and under pillows until they practically had to drag me out. But then I stopped resisting eventually, submitted myself to the fact that I had to do this. And then slowly started to put effort in. After hitting rock bottom, realizing that this was no way to live a life. Accepting that it would be a long- lifelong- and hard fight, but that it is possible and it is worth it. And then slowly, I started having little victories, started fighting my ed for those around me, finding reasons to keep going- so my family could stop paying so much for therapy, so they wouldn't have to see me in this state, etc. And then eventually I started fighting it for myself, because I started believing that I was worth it, worth being happy and having a good healthy life. It took a long time and a lot of work, honestly I'm still working sometimes, but eventually I got as close as I can be to 100%, and it was entirely worth every ounce of effort.

If anybody would like me to write more posts on recovery, about questions you have, things about myself, my story/recovery experience, personal issues you need help with, I am 100% here to answer anything, help you out, talk to you. I can write posts on any topic, and you can always email me at giraffesilhouette@gmail.com. Now that I'm on the other end of recovery, I really want to help people that are still struggling, because I know what it's like, I know how hard it is. So I'm here for you all <3

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Daily post

Hey! I know I said I would blog more often, I'm just SOO busy at the moment! School starts for me on Monday and I still have heaps of work to do. I just switched my schedule around a few days ago and now I suddenly have to read three books by the time class starts, I'm 1.5 of the way through. Probably not quite going to finish, but that's okay.

I'm actually really excited for my schedule this year. It will be a lot of work but I'll be interested in all of it. My schedule is: AP Comparative Government/Honors Economics, AP Calculus BC, AP Japanese 4, Architecture, Art, and AP English Literature. I'm also doing AP Computer Science independent study. And college apps as well. (ok typing it out now, what am I thinking with this class load??). And for those of you that don't know, AP stands for Advanced Placement, it's like a college course being taught in high school (you can get class credit for them when you go to college), they're like the equivalent of IB (International Baccalaureate) if you have those?

I'm having a little bit of difficulty going on with my friends right now, but besides that everything's going pretty good. I don't really feel like going into the friend issues at the moment. Maybe I will another day.

I have something else I've been wanting to post, I'll have that in a separate post after this :)


Whee, now that I have a laptop, I can take webcam pictures :) here's me, in my room, [late at night] :)


Today I just got up and read my books pretty much. I also watched a few episodes of a series I'm now 500% addicted to at the moment. It's an australian show called Dance Academy, about a group of people in the national academy of dance. I'm a total sucker for anything ballet-related, I'm also addicted to a show called Breaking Pointe which is a real-life documentary about the lives of members of Ballet West in Salt Lake City, Utah (in the US), except I can't watch 10 episodes in a row (yes, that happened with Dance Academy) because they're coming out weekly and I'm up to date. 

 

If anybody knows of any other good ballet movies/shows, fiction or nonfiction, let me know so I can indulge my ~guilty pleasure~ even more :P 

Hope you're doing well and enjoying the last of summer!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Long time, no write?

Hello! I tend to forget so often that I have a blog and not post for ages.. then I suddenly remember again and post loads. I'm actually surprised that I still get a good number of pageviews every day, who out there is actually checking on my blog even when I'm not updating? haha!

I'm actually doing EXTREMELY well, I'm going to have to change the title of my blog tomorrow (as for now it will be a short post before bed seeing as it's 2am.. I meant to go to sleep at 12!).

As for the news:

I graduated therapy yesterday!!

I have only one doctor's appointment left in two months' time where I will get declared healthy!!

I am finally free from anorexia and depression!


I told you I was doing well :) 

Anyways, I should really be getting to sleep now, I'll leave the post at that and save many details for tomorrow (and loads of pictures!). Leave a comment and let me know how you've been doing :)